Since you go (2)

Since you go,
I thought my life is like a water flows from downstream to upperstream

Since you go,
I mourn over trying to pass the wall of longing

Since you go
My step is relieved by the nail of your memory on the earth of Yogya

By PiS June 2011 in Word of Heart

In Indonesian : Semenjak Kau Pergi

Pilgrimage

The rain season has not stop
It drizzle interupt all of february journey
This afternoon in the Godean
cold, quite, desolate
Softly the wind greet
Is it possible that is you
who want accompanie and want to amuse me?

I dare not approaching your home
I am crying out load in my heart
The giant tree is silent and does not care
The man has to stand to cry
make him dissapeare for prestige
So i leave this narrow way
eventhough my heart still billow

PiS : Feb’28 2011

In Indonesian : Ziarah

A Couple of Twosome, Learning To Say Hello Not in The World of Illusion (4)

(The Dream, between “White SEO” and “Black SEO” (2))

 I was a daybreak when I arrived at warnet. Not much words to be arranged already about SEO Tricks or around PageRank Google I typed successful. Because my time was used in wordpress blog and Facebook. Fortunately I had a chance to sleep although a few hours only. For people with the job in the world of illusion, sleep was just formality merely, they did it only to continue their common which was an inheritance from previous ancestor. And because of it, the sleep often got a closer crush with abuse from the workers in the world of illusion, “Wah… should be slept unfortunately, it is almost in the morning!” or “ It is 4 o’clock already? Crazy…when we want to sleep.” So on.

 It was same like me, all the day my friend became a victim into a category of abuser to the sleeper. He was also online in the daybreak, he knew via Twitter and Plurk so my hand phone was rung. After having a social formality about some cases, he ended with a question about the address of this rental. And suddenly he was appeared at the glasses of warnet. The staff of warnet was surprise in the middle of his sleepy, he looked at emptily, a little to gape at, I thought he was trembling, imagined the cases around the robbery. Hih..hi.. the staff was like a statue, I knew exactly in his mind,” is it a head or not?” So in my heart I also helped to answer, “it was not a head but only a bunch of hair.”

 “For shake of sky, moon and stars, may it was repeated back again where I am still in my house and not to be on duty in this rental?” That was a second thought of him. Thus instead of throwing a urine in his pants I told to him that the strange man was my friend, plus I was already finished to rent. So he was easy, getting out of stroke problem, and his cold sweat was absorbed back to his skin getting him out of dehydration- frightening attack.

 “Instead of being in the rental, it is better just in my house coy…” he said so to me in front of rental keeper. He was smiled being feel save from the action of barbarian robbery.

 Philodendron, puring Raja, aglonema lipstic, aglonema HotLady. Anturium with jumbo size, this was a type of Cobra – anthurium Cobra, There was still thousand kind of other interesting plants, they welcomed our arriving, after the gate was opened widely. I was wondered to look at all of that, moreover the color-spot lights placed on the ground, their glow spotlighted up and fell down to the leaves and wall, made them as a picture of plant’s silhouette with colorized style surrounding which fell down to the white-cleaned canvas of wall. I thought I was like to fly to the heaven, maybe I could meet you. I was not already to ask a permission to take a picture for a shake of my pocket camera which was not to be patient in the bag. I ever showed this one like this at a big shop of plant in the area of Tawangmangu but in small form. Ah…, the memory was back again, the trip with you to the shops of plant starting from those in the street of Godean, Kaliurang to Tawangmangu. Those memories were like to swim in my brain and heart. My chest always felt narrow again. So I put the point here then continued the other.

 My heart was asked to, did the garden with a such big house could be gotten by becoming a Blogger? Did it come from tens of Google Adsense? Was his contra version web sold well in billion? Or was it obtained from the job being a SEO? Did he have a high traffic web in the

world of advertising? Was it maybe a the advertising of house, wasn’t it? I don’t know, but who knew my friend was only a “Black SEO” or maybe if he was a “White One” he had a fortune to get the client of a giant company which had a quarrel with, hotel, travel biro or SEO for a politic party which had win a certain position. Or he ever recovered a secret data and then sold it out. In Jakarta everything could be happened. Ah, I put my mind away from the negative sooner. Because whatever less bad thought it was, tt was only to be a passion to my heart, the heart would be depraved. What the meaning of having a deprave heart moreover it was already be broken a part like this. In the room of family, his wife came and welcomed warmly. Her cared hand was smooth to give a shake. And her face was contrary in 360 degree compared our thought about those who had a fortune to ask her in marriage. “For a shake of sky, moon and stars, may t was repeated back again where I was in warnet and do not drop by in this house?” Her house dress, her blouse for sleep was thin enough transparently, broke down everything of perspective in ethical logic. To be just a real artist would be confused, chose the real one or watch the a very beautiful abstract paintings on the wall.

 Again, The thought which liked to compare was come, he and his wife, I thought like a picture of Van Gogh, owned by a crumpled street singer but rich. It was more correct I thought if choosing one of pictures named “Patch of Grass”, where it always be fallen by his old guitar every time he would take a rest after working all days. But It perhaps no problem there, because this house was not interesting enough with the Museum of Kroller-Muller bought because of the old guitar alone. Thus his wife or the picture still stood to become the dweller of this ideal house. Hah.. ha… may he was not angry then at the beginning of this month he was appeared suddenly and tried to kick my back. His wife came inside, perhaps she would cook a breakfast. He also asked me to wait a moment then he stood and went to a room with a door filled out by the sticker of old-rock star singers. To be silent for a second, but the beauty still glowed from this room. “White Seo…”, “Black Seo…”, hacker, google, “White Seo…”, “Black Seo..”, pagerank, and so on, this words frightened me in turn, rolled up in my mind and came into my inner and soul. There was a clinked sound of spoon, plate, sound of water flowing from a crane, I felt It was like you be there to prepare something my breakfast on Gadjah Mada Street. Maybe th world like this you dreamed about since the past. But you knew exactly, deep inside my heart nothing I ever wanted to except for you. And just because of you, I finally was in this house for a promise. I was too long my friend came out, so I took my red book again and wrote “Learning To Say Hello Not in The World of Illusion” then I continued to “Jakarta is really the world of illusion, and the one is absolutely right.

PiS, the note is still left for the date of July 26 or 27 2011 “Still About Missing You”

 Indonesian : Sejoli, Belajar Menyapa Yang Bukan di Dunia Maya (4)

Whose Eyes These Are

Whose eyes are these?
stick on my head
fully to look for
not to be the desire of my head’s content

Whose eyes are these?
always to be brought,
is it not already to be useful?
is it not already to be enable to understand the beauty
spreading widely,
given grant to him.

PiS August 24 2011

In Indonesian : Mata Siapa Ini?

Weeping

Puisi tangis

On this ancient canvas my longing is drawn up
my soul flows the root withers
my breath is faded away on the leaves
the lungs of my soul is narrow by rock
my heart is still gulped also
it knocks the darkness
hangs on…,
so the center of my heart keeps winking,
but in this dried night
the tear of mine always carves
the relief of your love

.
PiS August 2011
Photo by PiS in Cemeti Island of YogyakartaIn Indonesian : Tangis

The Doubt of An Answer

(The answer of a friend’s question)
Then Hadaning whispers me softly
about the greatest of the creator
she sows the flowers of question
as the beads to make a fortress in the doubt
to convince the scattered soul
in her searching and loneliness to Him

But the silence I get is still always says to my inner
“That no grain of soul in the world
She ever knows is already to be touched by Him
cause the light is only the soft point in the center of my heart
while the darkness of world is still more wide
more than what is enable to be caught by cornea of my eyes”

For you my lovers who still search Him
search if you still feel needed to search for
and keep Him save if you feel you’ve found
Thanks Hadaning the love of my poem
I spy on the line of your heart
still has a chance to be implicit and written
that you still have a sort of searching …

My God, I still search for Your light
on the line of sun which will be sunset
and on the one which will be sunrise
I search for you also on the line of darkness
and the one of world light which is so bright
the earth I can never to be understood really
I want You touch me sometime
same like you did to my lover
at the time my legs do not stand up again
on this perishable world
At the time shines the step of my way
so I end my searching for You and you.

PiS 2011, forgive me for I still always search you and You in my loneliness

In Indonesian : Keraguan sebuah Jawaban

Five Meters Only

My sea …!
throw me away to her chest
as strong as you need…
and I know there is no wound
cause she waits carefully
with her pillow of heart
widely to make me save

My wave
throw me away once in a strike
let her take me sink in her palm of hand
cause from there
I’ve taken my breath of life for 7 years
that I never forget in all of my life
And look at this picture,
Look..!  She is only five meters from me…

.

By PiS, Jakarta 11082011
(Diva’s song for her mom…)

Indonesian : Lima Meter Saja.

Pray Only is Not Enough

Thousand of restless prayers in my palm of hand
afraid not to be reached by Your lap
cause I still have a question in my heart:
“Is God there above?”

But I still spread it around
as a holy rain from my inner heart
flying up to the cloud going to Your place

may the seed is grown
and You want to take it
while my hand
trying to greet sincerely
by a little hope I have

PiS August 2011
Photo By Jemek Supardi

In Indonesian : Berdoa Saja Tidak Cukup

Boy or Girl?

“Boy or Girl?” That is a question first time proposed to a father when a mother has just born a baby. All friends and families do that at the beginning, so it is not about the healthy of mother. The second emerging is then just about the condition of the mother.

 And a father will be very happy, bright and cheerful, if a baby has been born is a boy. Of course he is very happy if the baby is a girl also, but in the different consideration, and the number of it is only he and God know. In this content of capacity, you don’t have to ask “my really opinion” when my child who has just born is a girl in fact. Her mother will be very angry, all of girls soundly will be as one also to curse me and they are very disappointed to my answer. Early, before finally I will make all of people heart to be cool in order to do not have a chance to hit my fellow who thumbs me up on behalf of my honesty.

 And this is my experience that even though a father always says boy or girl are same too, but some or it may says, most of them will never be able to hide a little sense of disappointed from my eyes. Don’t blame me if she will be happier when the child is born as a boy. That the baby boy is the dream for fathers is absolutely right, even it is often happened for the second or third child also. And I alone is used to be very expected that my child has just been born is a boy. When the child is not like the one who I hope so much, I still be happy and say thank to, by little trying to hide away and forget the dream of course. Because the disappointing has also a chance to pass by although it is only a few second. My happiness is not full like some of my friend even it can make them to be jumped up happily and let their cups of glass or decorated plates are broken on the floor on behalf of purchasing their happy.

 But for the next days, a month or a few months, even a few years after her birthday, it is so good if you ask me about the feeling in real and the birthday of a baby girl. For the answer of mine at the moment will make all of girls in the world be jealous to my little pretty girl. It feels 24 hours a day is not enough for both us, it is not already yet for the time to be shared to her mother, family, friend or internet which takes her time to much. And you will need a special calculator in order to be able to count the number of poems plus photo and video are taken by and I save them in my computer. All of that are born because the funny and annoyance of her lovely movements.

 For she is the only child from her mother I love so much that can also be denied and it is already to be eternal by Him. This time, it is so hard to understand the accidence why the plot of story can make her live away even in the different island with me. People say, that all are depended to my choice. But it is too difficult also, or even to

be more likely if I should say that it is also a part of her mother’s need or intention confronted with all people have. However I know that the wisdom woman is right, understanding the fill in my corner of heart and the character in my head. So she says, “Bla… bla… bla… bla… bla…, be patient a moment and it is only you that know the right time, then pick her up”.

 For the last days, my child she is. She is my only wish and love to be poured on. The center of my worry and restless in sense. She makes me courage or weak and makes my longing to be so much day by day. However, because of that is also the meaning of a sms coming from her has a point of a father’s happiness on the birthday of his baby boy. May God shows the widely way for my job and shows a place for us in order to be able to tight us up and to share back our love each other without a distance again between two of us.

 My child, this time I miss you so much, and as a man it is not reasonable for me to cry for it rises a question up, “boy or girl?”

 PIS March 2011, coated by manuscript “Koma”

English : Laki-laki Atau Perempuan 2

Moon…

You    do   not     send     my    moon   to   the   prison
in the wild jungle, your town for my poor heart
always looks for its love from town to town.

from heart to the spirit of it,
from its silence by sad
soul in the center
of my heart
sun
.

.

.

An Indonesian : Bulan Yang Terpenjara…

“Watch Out to Ulu Bekas”

There is something the wind wants to tell its concern about its heart of life. It always disturbs the leaves on big trees, makes me disturb, maybe Neither do you and hopes somebody to understand and enable to understand a question: “Is there God’s creature still know each other?”.

And the long way is only keep silent to let the time pass to the end of its life. Only the sky above always listens to the restless wind. But on the high there, it can not do anything, although a pity thousand of feelings covering its heart hearing a noise of the restless yellow leave on the highest small branch of tree and a piece of heart that is on the bicycle on the long-hot asphalt road.

The wind stops to blow away, trying to understand the border of silent wisdom decided by nature. And a piece of yellow leave may take a rest for a moment from afraid of wind’s dangerous tease and a sob crying of heart. From the deep inside my heart, I’m sure that the wind is only gives a sign, for a while, before it will be a storm.

Above all, all of the life’s journey still flow as should be, even though you keep silent in thousand of words and reluctant to ask or understand about the wheel of unbalanced and flawed life in your side.

And the leaves falls down finally also, crush down to the center of ground. An old man walks over them by no chance, before then he goes away, away, and too far away. A pair of wheel’s life says farewell to my eyes. The old silent man has gone slowly, his flag is flied by in the distance, but his whisper to me still be reached although it sounds I hear no clear that I will never understand the meaning of writing: “Watch Out to Ulu Bekas?”

To the withered plant I ask: “Is there God Above?”

“Do not whine in the lifetime of your age!” the rice plant says so while stooping and kneeling to Him.

I look away to the cloudy sky, beg and ask again: Is there God above?

“Do not debate the relative things” the eagle shriek it up while diving and pouncing its prey on your grave, my heart start crying: “Is there God above?” You are smiled happily Jemek Supardi hears me, in front of crowd He points out the sky, in his silence he gives a question: “Is there God above?’

His face looks so sad in his center of heart saved thousand of mysteries that has been reached by my heart also and now I understand already.

PiS 12082011

In Indonesian : Hati-hati Ulu Bekas

When you wake up later

When you wake up later
you will get green grass
Spreading out widely and softly- fragrantly.
In your land you really have to forget me for my own is empty and infertile with a yard is full of sadness.

When you wake up later,
a full of love care will be poured up on you
Why all of every single breath you take.
In your land you really have to forget me for my own is gloomy
by the rooms of its sad

When you wake up later, thousand of butterflies will wait you,
perch on your hair slowly accompanying you
Their wings are colored.
In your land you really have to forget me for my own is only grey by the seconds of my poor.

When you wake up later,
if you don’t forget me,
would you like to save me under your cloud,
my song,
sound of my guitar,
and poem as a sign of my love in the past?

(Indonesian :  Ketika Kau Bangun Nanti)

PiS 2011

A minute is Like An Arrow

I fly the words to the grey sky
to the strong wing I insert them
I still got the rest in my head
then it grows again one by one

Fly away
fly away
fly away

the words that make me hurt
release like an bow
leave me alone standing here

cause a minute of yours
stab me as deep as an arrow

PiS Aug’ 2011
Indonesian : Satu Menit Bagai Satu Mata Panah

MY Wave

Throw me away once in a strike
let her take me sink in her palm of hand
cause from there
I’ve taken my breath of life for 7 years

that I never forget in all of my life
And look at this picture,
She is only five meters from me…

By PiS, Jakarta 11082011

(Diva’s song for her mom…)

In Indonesian : Ombakku

A Memory in My Backpack

My memory,
already to be saved in my backpack,
you may borrow it only via sms,
but you do not saved in yours,
read it also then wipe it away
cause you have it already more than I have
More ever, it is not good to put a self memory
on the others one  from different backpack

.
PiS: Ancol, 13082011

In Indonesian : Kenangan di Dalam Tas Ranselku