“Boy or Girl?” That is a question first time proposed to a father when a mother has just born a baby. All friends and families do that at the beginning, so it is not about the healthy of mother. The second emerging is then just about the condition of the mother.
And a father will be very happy, bright and cheerful, if a baby has been born is a boy. Of course he is very happy if the baby is a girl also, but in the different consideration, and the number of it is only he and God know. In this content of capacity, you don’t have to ask “my really opinion” when my child who has just born is a girl in fact. Her mother will be very angry, all of girls soundly will be as one also to curse me and they are very disappointed to my answer. Early, before finally I will make all of people heart to be cool in order to do not have a chance to hit my fellow who thumbs me up on behalf of my honesty.
And this is my experience that even though a father always says boy or girl are same too, but some or it may says, most of them will never be able to hide a little sense of disappointed from my eyes. Don’t blame me if she will be happier when the child is born as a boy. That the baby boy is the dream for fathers is absolutely right, even it is often happened for the second or third child also. And I alone is used to be very expected that my child has just been born is a boy. When the child is not like the one who I hope so much, I still be happy and say thank to, by little trying to hide away and forget the dream of course. Because the disappointing has also a chance to pass by although it is only a few second. My happiness is not full like some of my friend even it can make them to be jumped up happily and let their cups of glass or decorated plates are broken on the floor on behalf of purchasing their happy.
But for the next days, a month or a few months, even a few years after her birthday, it is so good if you ask me about the feeling in real and the birthday of a baby girl. For the answer of mine at the moment will make all of girls in the world be jealous to my little pretty girl. It feels 24 hours a day is not enough for both us, it is not already yet for the time to be shared to her mother, family, friend or internet which takes her time to much. And you will need a special calculator in order to be able to count the number of poems plus photo and video are taken by and I save them in my computer. All of that are born because the funny and annoyance of her lovely movements.
For she is the only child from her mother I love so much that can also be denied and it is already to be eternal by Him. This time, it is so hard to understand the accidence why the plot of story can make her live away even in the different island with me. People say, that all are depended to my choice. But it is too difficult also, or even to
be more likely if I should say that it is also a part of her mother’s need or intention confronted with all people have. However I know that the wisdom woman is right, understanding the fill in my corner of heart and the character in my head. So she says, “Bla… bla… bla… bla… bla…, be patient a moment and it is only you that know the right time, then pick her up”.
For the last days, my child she is. She is my only wish and love to be poured on. The center of my worry and restless in sense. She makes me courage or weak and makes my longing to be so much day by day. However, because of that is also the meaning of a sms coming from her has a point of a father’s happiness on the birthday of his baby boy. May God shows the widely way for my job and shows a place for us in order to be able to tight us up and to share back our love each other without a distance again between two of us.
My child, this time I miss you so much, and as a man it is not reasonable for me to cry for it rises a question up, “boy or girl?”
PIS March 2011, coated by manuscript “Koma”
English : Laki-laki Atau Perempuan 2
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