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I am … (I)

Aku (Senja Kelabu)
I am, a man who often sit
sit on the big stones
the stone I often want to carve
but I have no chisel

I am, a man who stand up
stand up and daydream in gray twilight cloudy
the one I often want to draw
but I have no bright color and decorated brush
the only one I have is the finger of time which is pointed and chatter

I am, a silent man
the silence in the lap of night
the night I often want to make a noisy
but I have no drum and trumpet
the only one I have is a whisper in the sense of my silence

I am, a part of your self left
to be left in the lap of painful earth
the painful earth becoming more pain and flows the tears of mine
but I have no a solemn song or aubade
the only one I have is the center of my heart which groans gently
PiS July 31 2011

Indonesian : Aku adalah … (I)

Aku adalah…(I)

Aku (Senja Kelabu)
Aku
adalah lelaki yang sering duduk
duduk di batu-batu besar
batu yang sering kali ingin kuukir
tapi aku tak punya pahat dari baja tajam
yang kupunya hanyalah kapur dari belulang rapuhku

Aku,
adalah laki-laki yang berdiri
berdiri terlena di keremangan  senja yang kelabu
keremangan yang sering kali ingin kulukis
tapi aku tak punya warna cerah dan kuas hias
yang kupunya hanya jemari waktu yang tirus dan gemeretak

Aku,
adalah laki-laki yang senyap
senyap di haribaan malam
malam yang sering kali ingin ku gelegar
tapi aku tak memiliki genderang atau sangkakala
Yang kupunya hanya bisikan dari  rasa diamku

Aku,
adalah bagian dirimu  yang tertinggal,
tertinggal di haribaan bumi perih
bumi perih yang menjadi-jadi dan mengalirkan air mataku
tapi aku tak punya himne atau aubade
yang kupunya hanya ulu hatiku yang lirih merintih-rintih

.

PiS 31 Juli 2011
In English : I am…(1)

Stasiun Senen, Belajar Menyapa Yang Bukan di Dunia Maya (2)

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Miss youDi dunia maya berlaku hukum bahwa bisa saja selama bertahun-tahun ini kau mengira bahwa kau telah menjalin komunikasi dengan seorang gadis cantik, pria tampan, FBI, CIA, BIN, penyanyi, aktor/aktris tenar, selingkuhanmu, atau siapalah yang kau senangi, sampai akhirnya kau temui kenyataan bahwa selama ini kau ternyata hanya berkomunikasi dengan seekor monyet berbuntut pendek atau seseorang yang tak akan pernah terbayangkan sebelumnya.”

Hatiku gelisah, menimang-nimang, apakah aku harus merepotkan orang lain dengan membangunkannya pada pagi-pagi buta hanya karena aku khawatir dan resah pada hal-hal yang aku sendiri tidak mengerti tentang apa, kenapa dan untuk apa. Selalu saja setiap sebuah pertanyaan tentang bagaimana menyelesaikan sebuah persoalan lahir, maka ingatanku padamu menjadi dominan, selalu berandai-andai bahwa jika kau ada di sisiku, tentu kau akan menelpon seseorang yang juga selalu saja jauh lebih baik daripada orang yang pernah kukenal atau pernah menjadi sahabatku, lalu seperti yang sudah-sudah, semua akan berakhir dengan baik, sedang kerjaku hanya tinggal mengangkati koper-koper saja.

Aku rasa seseorang di luar sana telah salah menilai, bahwa selama ini aku selalu memanjakanmu, nyatanya, kaulah yang terlalu memanjakanku, kalau tidak, aku tentu tidak akan segugup ini hanya untuk menuju sebuah stasiun yang bahkan sudah kuanggap kuno. Jam 2 pagi, tidak ada masalah dengan jam segitu, kau kan tahu, bahkan untuk tidur di tempat angker pun aku tidak akan pernah takut, karena aku selalu mengagungkan logika berfikir melebihi mistik atau perbuatan jahat apapun. Tapi kurasa bukan karena semua itu, barangkali kesepiankulah yang mendorongku untuk menyapa, mungkin aku butuh teman ngobrol di kota yang tidak pernah bisa kupahami ini. Ya, mungkin itu.

Seperti selalu kau bilang, sungguh sangat jarang dalam hidupku, tapi aku melakukannya, menelpon! Tidak secara eksplisit mengatakan supaya aku dijemput. Aku cuma bilang, “Eh, kamu online terus ya, aku akan sampai di stasiun lho sekitar jam 2 pagi. Aku baik-baik saja, kata orang banyak ojek, bemo, taksi kok di situ dst, dst, dst…”

Kurasa dia mengerti, jadi dia menghardik, menyuruhku lebih baik diam, mendengarkan dulu dan menurut saja, lalu memutuskan sendiri secara otoriter, akan berada di sana sebelum aku tiba. Kurasa seperti biasa, ketika kami berdebat di dunia maya, dia mulai keras padaku. Tapi keras yang ini membuatku merasa senang, karena aku betul-betul merasa diperhatikannya.

Aku tersadar dengan kata-kataku sendiri yang selalu bilang, kita harus berpikir jauh ke depan. Harus hati-hati tentang sebuah keputusan. Namun tentang temanku ini, baru detik ini kusadari, lalu muncullah ke khawatiran itu dalam hatiku. Kutenangkan diriku sendiri, bukankah dia juga cuma makhluk Tuhan semata? Bukankah kami sudah saling kenal bertahun-tahun di dunia maya, dan bukankah aku yang pertama kali mencoba bersapa dan bertukar no HP dan ingin ketemu di dunia nyata dan itu baru kemarin pagi? Tapi tunggu dulu, bukankah dia juga yang selalu mengkritikku habis-habisan? Bukankah dia yang selalu memulai perang argumen pedas? Bukankah dia yang memaki-makiku membabi buta hanya karena aku menulis tentang  seorang Cat Steven dengan lagu “Morning Has Brokennya.” Padahal aku hanya mengatakan bahwa lagu itu telah menjadi jembatan antar kita yang berdiri di jurang-jurang pemisah yang sangat dalam? Bagaimana jika dia ternyata masih menyimpan sebuah dendam? Dst… dst…

Ah, sudah terlanjur. Jadi kuangkat tasku, turun dari kereta, celingak-celinguk dan mulai memiss call ke sana sini berulang kali, sampai akhirnya pada waktu yang tepat kulihat seseorang mengangkat HP nya. Tak begitu jauh dariku. Astaga naga mudah-mudahan bukan itu orangnya. Pasti bukan, badan gituan bukanlah badan seorang blogger yang mengerti masalah-masalah seputar SEO dan Google Adsense. Jantungku berdetak. Kurasa aku keringat dingin. Itu kepala apa bukan ya?

Dia melambai, mulai mengenali, mungkin dari icon kaca mataku di blog-blogku, ya, kurasa dialah orangnya, tapi mana mungkin, masak aku mesti curhat tentang “cinta dan kerinduan” dengan orang bermuka sangar dan tangan penuh tato begitu. Astaga apa yang sudah kulakukan ini. Pikiranku bergelimang dengan kabut pertanyaan plus dugaan-dugaan. Demi langit, bulan dan bintang, bolehkah diulang kembali aku masih di gerbong dan tidak jadi menelponnya?

“Hah, si abang!” Teriak lantang. “Pastilah kau orangnya!”, suaranya agak keras memecah keheningan  sambil mematikan HP. Jakunku naik turun, ketika mengiyakan. Jangankan aku, para preman Stasiun Senen ini kurasa jadi gugup, menyelamatkan muka demi mendengar dan menoleh ke wajah si empunya suara. Jabatannya sangat keras. Rambutnya itu, daripada milik seorang blogger cerdas, barangkali lebih tepat kalau kukatakan cuma dipinjam dari seorang pengamen jalanan yang nggak mandi ribuan tahun lamanya. Ih…, itu bukan kepala, tapi segerombolan rambut.

Semua pada akhirnya berjalan dengan poin yang menurutku sangat baik. Dia bahkan mentraktirku makan, yang belakangan kusadari telah kubayar dengan sejumlah jawaban atas pertanyaan-pertanyaan tentang apa sebetulnya yang terjadi setahun belakangan ini. Kenapa aku lenyap dsb. Apakah aku masih punya rasa nasionalis itu, apakah aku memusuhinya, apakah kami akan bertemu lagi, apakah aku akan mencari istri lagi, apakah tulisannya bagus, apakah, apakah, apakah…. begitulah. Lalu dialah membayar makan dini hari kami. Dia mengatakan juga, nggak nyangka mukaku cuman seperti ini. Katanya lagi, mukaku amat kontradiksi dengan artikelku, dan dia bilang aku lebih cocok kalau berambut gondrong. Dia mengantarku hingga di mulut gang sambil mengatakan rindu akan tulisanku tentang negara yang kita sayangi ini. Negara yang kita sayangi?! Seumur-umur aku nggak bakalan  percaya dia mengucapkan itu kalau tidak kudengar dengan kupingku sendiri dan dari mulutnya sendiri. Huh…, dunia  sudah kebalik-balik kataku dalam hati.

Bulan dan matahari bergantian menyapa bumi. Maya dan nyata bergantian menyapaku. Aku menoleh ke belakang sekali lagi, masih gelap gulita ketika samar-samar ia menjauh membawa badannya yang besar itu. Di kejauhan, gedung-gedung dalam gelap kelam penuh dengan cahaya-cahaya kecil, sangat mirip dengan bintang-bintang langit di Alun-alun yang sudah menempel di hati kita. Seperti biasa, aku mengingatmu kembali, utuh seperti hari-hari sebelumnya. Di tengah kerinduanku padamu dan kesepianku, di tengah rentang gelap yang panjang, kau tentu tahu apa yang dikatakan para gedung tinggi berkelap-kelip itu padaku. Ya, itulah yang dikatakan gedung-gedung itu padaku.

.

PiS, Cileduk 27 Juli 2011

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NB : Aku tiba di stasiun senen pd tgl 25072011
lalu catatan ini dibuat dicicil di tengah kesibukan
sebuah pesta pernikahan.

In English :
Senen Station, Learning To Say Hello Not To Be in The World of Illusion (2)

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Kerinduanku Menyentak Hatiku Untuk Terjaga dari dunia Maya, Lalu Menulis :

Protected :

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PUISI :

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Senen Station, Learning To Say Hello Not To Be in The World of Illusion (2)

In the world of illusion is used the law that It has been a long years you think you has share a communication with a beautiful girl, handsome man, FBI, CIA, BIN, a singer, famous actor/actress, your another girl’s or boy’s friend, or whoever you love too much, till finally you find out that until this time you are really communicated with a short-tiled monkey or somebody you never imagine before.”

My heart was worried, thought, Should I make another person busy by waking him up in the early morning just because I was worried and restless to the things I didn’t understand alone what about, why and what for. It always just so in every single question about how to finish a solution appeared, so my memory to you became dominant, always imagined if you were in my side, you would phone somebody of course who always be so far so good also than somebody I knew or ever be my friend, then like it before, everything would be ended in good, while my work was only to carry the suitcase on.

I thought somebody out there was wrong already to give a point of view that I always spoiled you for this time. In fact, you did with me too much, if not, of course I would not be as nervous as I would just to go to a station even I guessed it was ancient already. 2 o’clock am, nothing was matter with a such time, you had known, even to sleep in an eerie place also I would never be afraid, for I always pride a logic of thinking more than mystic or bad action whatever. But I thought it was not all about, sometime my loneliness gave me a favor to say hello, maybe I needed a friend to talk in the city I would never be understood it. Ok, It maybe like you always said so, It was so infrequent really in my life, but I did it, calling by phone! Not in explicit I said in order that I was picked up. I said only. “Eh, you keep online, don’t you. I will arrive in the station around 2 o’clock am. I am just fine, people says there were a lot of ojeks, bemos, and taxies there,,,”

I thought she understood, so she shouted out, asked me that I was better to be quiet, listen first and just to be obeyed, then decided alone in authoritarian, would be there before I arrived. I thought it was used to be, when we debated in the world of illusion, she started to be strong to me. But this one made me happy cause I felt to be cared really.

I was realized with my words alone that always said, we should think further more. We should be careful about a decision. But about my friend, I was realized now, then it appeared to make me afraid about in my heart. I made my self to be calm, she was only a God’s creature also, wasn’t she? We had known each other for along years in the world of illusion, and I was the first who tried to say hello and change HP number and wanted to meet in the real world and it was just yesterday morning, didn’t we? But waited a moment, she was the one who always also made a criticism to me completely, didn’t she? She was the one who always started a war in argument sharply, didn’t she? She was the one who abused me brutally because I wrote about a Cat Steven with his song “Morning Has Broken.” Whereas I just said that the song had become a bridge between us which stood up in the deepest gap, didn’t she? How about if she really still saved a grudge? And so on…

Oh, It was happened. So I lifted my bag up, got down from the train, looked around and started to miss call anywhere repeatedly, till finally on the right time I showed somebody lifted his phone cell up. Not too far from me. Oh my god, maybe that should not be the man. It shouldn’t be, the body like that was not a body of blogger who understood the problem around SEO and Google Adsense. My heart was beat. I thought I got a cold sweat. It was a head, wasn’t it?

He waved her hand by, started to know, maybe from the icon of my glasses in my blogs, yeah, I thought he was the man, but maybe not, should I tell my feeling about “love and loneliness” with those whose two faces and hand in full of tattoo like that. Oh my god what I had done. My thought was mixed together with cloudy of question and guesses. For the shake of sky, moon, and stars, may it be repeated back where I was still in railway coach and did not phone him?

“Hay, brother!” he shouted out loudly. “You must be the man!”, his voice was rather loud breaking the silence up while turning HP off. My throat was up and down, when said yes. Even not me, the street guards of Senen’s station I thought became nervous, saving the face to hear and look at a voice of the owner. His shake hand was tight. His hair it was, maybe it was rightly if I called it was borrowed from a street singer who did not take a bath for thousand years than the owner of smart blogger. Ih…, it was not a head, but a bunch of hair.

Finally, Everything ran very well with a point according to me. Even he invited me to have some food, at the end I was realized that I had paid it with number of answers on the questions about what really happened in a last year was. Why I was gone and so on. Did I still have a such sense of nationalism, did I make him like enemy, would we meet again, would I look for a wife again, was his writing good, and so forth… just the question it was. Then he paid our daybreak food. He told me also that he did not suppose my face just like this. He said again, my face was very contradiction with my article, and he said it was more suitable if I had a long hair. He drove me up till the edge of the gangway while saying he missed my writing about the nation we love. The nation we love?! For along moment of my lifetime I did not believe that he said so if I did not hear it with my own ear and from his own mouth. Huh…, the world was already turned over I said in my heart.

The moon and sun said hello to the earth in turn. Illusion and reality did so. I Looked back once more, it was still very dark when in cloudy night he went and brought his big body away. In the distance, the buildings in the dark night were full of little light, it looked like the stars in the sky so much in town square that was already stuck in my heart. As used to be, I remembered again, it was full like the days before. In the middle of my longing and loneliness to you, in the one of long-dark distance, you really knew what the high-blinked buildings said to me. Yeah, that was they were said to me.

PiS, Cileduk July 27 2011

NB : I arrived at Senen’s station on the date of 07252011

then this note was made and worked little by little in the center of busy

a wedding party.

In Indonesian :
Stasiun Senen, Belajar Menyapa Yang Bukan Di Dunia Maya (2)

The Thundering of Jakarta

My voice is disappeared swallowed by the noisy of vehicle
my face is closed by building climbing up the sky
I’ve seen the difference happily
that between and not existing are only a thin line
like a monkey uses a mirror

Halaaaaahh… just confuse, what relation is

July 26

Flying to the Sky

I want
Like an Indian
Myself is extinct
Or like Paraquay bird
Soar high leave past roads
That have to be left
My Lord, it is most extremely
Let flame my light
And burn my past

Let the flames further illuminate
And the smoke became etched in the sky

And that’s what had to happen

 

“PiS”

Sangam House, The Taste Behind the Thick Door

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Sangam House Vegetarian Restaurant

Sangam House Vegetarian Restaurant

Once night we were three, our kids was enjoying her reading, in the other hand you were so happy found the new place, I always remember your words about the boring vegetarian menu , so I was so lucky to found this new place for you, but I looked forward about what was going on there, because the name of this house was so mysterious, I hope the contents of this house are not as mysterious as this house, I hope you like it.

The thick teak welcomed us with it’s sturdy, for me the teak door have to be split become 2 or three doors, I think it will be more useful and economical, ahh,, I do not know why this door remind me about Friday 13th movies, too long to saw the door as if the door gogled at me.
Challenged my bravery and strength to pushed it, but we succeed to passed it without faced anything, I Only used my forefinger to opened it, just like that . So that I entered arrogantly, I think it was lost with my finger.

In this room, the door look like still revenge. In this room, that door seems like still grudge, it like would swallowed us and would not released us for centuries, for a moment ! The door also remind me about the prisons in the ancient Rome films, perhaps this door ever be rent for it, You know my darling, I think the door price is equivalent with our quota money to eat many months, I think it is same inside, but this time there is an exception, and it is deeper than just money.

Inside the room there was a foreigner greet us warmly, tried to discussed with you about vegetarian Indian’s food types. I guessed he was the owner of this place, I thought you were not concentrate to listened his talked, you prefer to understand everything about garment, clothes, accessories and decorations it could made your hunger like revovered. Forgive me, because I have not fulfilled your ‘needs’ yet until your death, At that moment I just let you to made you happy with those clothes and accessories even though I was hunger as toothless lion. I also forgot about the excellent foods menu because I still be soiled with the pieces of words that came from the doctor’s mouth some months ago..

Finally we sat down in this room, we found the beautiful and amazing menu here names with the way to serve it typically, luxury and magnificant, but I won’t told you too long because I knew that those food were not tasted delicious in your tongue, you were very disappointed in other hand my stomach was bloated because of the foods that unjustified.

My sweetheart , now I am standing up outside, diametrical, focus to look into that thick teak door. I am not afraid with the image of the ancient Rome prison or Friday 13th movie any more, I do not afraid to fight with the arrogant of the door, and the price also, I just worry with my heart string which is beating progressively. It feels like there is something broken and trembling in my heart.

Just be patient for a while, permit me to be sturdy for second and strengthening my feet easel so that I can pass the thick teak door, so that I can pass the fussy foreigner and the carpet affluence of frieze. And then I sat in your shadow side which is waiting for trying enjoy the foods you never heard before , a group of foods that very strange in my ears.

Really, even though you are my shield, and you are not in my side now I am ready to face the mysterious thick teak door…….

Sangam House,
Kaliurang Street, Pandega Siwi 14
PiS June 2011

In English :


I Miss You This Night in This Taman Budaya

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Sudah beberapa kali aku lewat Taman Budaya ini, kukira karena aku sangat mengagumi patung besar itu. Awalnya mungkin ya, betapa tidak, bayangkan saja katanya patung kepala bayi itu dibuat dengan menggunakan 20 ton tanah liat. Kapan-kapan kalau aku punya uang aku ingin membuat patungmu di halaman rumahku, tapi rumahkupun belum ada, lagi pula itu kalau tidak ada yang protes atau menggerutu. Kau kan tahu, sekarang kata temanku aku semakin lebih suka mengalah dan pasrah. Kurasa itu lebih baik, sepanjang tidak mengganggu catatanku ini. Lagipula, bukankah aku sedikit banyaknya belajar kesabaran dari Ajahn Brahm. Jadi kalau ada yang tidak senang, bersabarlah kau demi patungmu itu.

Kutimang-timang lagi, pada akhirnya kuambil kesimpulan, bukan karena patung itu makanya aku sering melintas di depan gedung ini. Tapi lebih cenderung, karena belakangan kutahu diriku sudah merasa semakin sangat asing di dunia nyata menghadapi gelinding mimpi panjang ini. Tapi beruntunglah aku masih memiliki cita-cita kecilku demi kau. Dan meski beribukali aku melintas di sini, tentu saja kau tidak mungkin akan ada sedang memfoto atau sedang bertanya-tanya pada para penjaga benda-benda seni itu seperti dulu lagi.

Seperti ketika suami temanmu itu mengadakan konser saksophone-nya di sini. Entah siapa namanya itu, aku sudah lupa. Saat itu kau sangat bersemangat bercerita tentang ini itu seputar suaminya dan menunjukkan Compac Disc-nya yang elegan itu. Kurasa kau lupa, aku tidak bisa main saxsophone, tapi bukankah gitarku selalu berdenting untukmu tiap pagi atau malam? Apakah itu kau ceritakan pada istrinya?

Kau memang tak mengirim bayangmu ke sini. Barangkali waktu yang tersedia untuk sekedar bayangmu itu sudah habis untuk saudarimu. Ya, ia menelponku beberapa kali dan bercerita, tapi apakah aku perlu cemburu padanya atas apa yang ia dapatkan darimu tapi tak kuterima hingga kini. Demikian bencikah kau padaku?

Silhuetmu tidak ada di sini. Apakah kau sudah tidak menyukai dunia seni dan budaya lagi? Kuingat dulu pada awalnya, kau selalu menguap demi menonton hal-hal seperti ini. Kutahu kau kurang suka, tapi selalu kupancing,  bahwa di dunia ini tidak ada yang lebih surga kecuali dunia seni, budaya dan sastra, di samping mencintaimu tentunya. Bahwa sense and sensibility manusia akan lebih terasah dengan lebih seksama, hal-hal seperti itulah yang memberangkatkan hati kita sehingga kita tahu apa yang dimaui oleh Tuhan tentang sebutir perasaan dalam memandang makhluk ciptaannya yang lain.

Tapi belakangan bukankah kau yang selalu mencari moment untuk hal-hal seperti ini. Bukankah kau yang selalu ditelpon temanmu yang di Even Organizer itu agar ke sini atau ke situ untuk sebuah pertunjukan?  Apakah ini hanya karena demi anakmu itu saja.  Dan apakah karena si kecil itu tidak ada di sini, maka kaupun enggan sekedar menemaniku duduk di sini bersama patung kepala bayi ini?

PiS : 20 Juli 2011

In English : I Miss You This Night In This Taman Budaya

Hati-hati Ulu Bekas

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Ada sesuatu yang ingin disampaikan oleh angin yang selalu gelisah pada nadi kehidupan.  Angin itu  selalu mengusik dedaunan di pohon-pohon besar, mengusikku, mungkin juga mengusikmu dan mengharap  ada yang mau mengerti dan mampu memahami sebuah pertanyaan : “Apakah makhluk Tuhan masih saling mengenal satu sama lain?”

 Hati-hati Ulu Bekas (Ring Road Jogjakarta)

Dan jalan panjang hanya diam saja membiarkan sang waktu lewat menuju akhir hayatnya.  Hanya langit di atas yang selalu menyimak angin yang resah itu. Tapi di ketinggian sana, ia tidak bisa berbuat apa-apa, meski seribu rasa kasihan melingkupi hatinya mendengar gemerisik si daun kuning yang resah di ranting pohon yang sangat tinggi dan pada sepotong hati di atas sepeda di jalanan panjang beraspal panas.

 

Angin berhenti bertiup, mencoba mengerti batasan atas hikmah diam yang yang telah di gariskan oleh alam. Dan selembar daun kuning bisa sejenak istirahat dari ketakutan pada godaan angin yang berbahaya dan dari isak tangis hatinya. Dari lubuk hati aku yakin, bahwa angin hanya memberi isyarat,  untuk sementara saja, sebelum ia menjadi badai.

 hati ulu bekas (Ring Road Yogyakarta)

Di luar semua itu, seluruh perjalanan kehidupan tetap mengalir apa adanya, meski kau diam seribu bahasa dan enggan bertanya atau menghayati tentang roda kehidupan yang timpang dan cacat di sisimu.

 Hati-hati ulu bekas (Ring Road Barat Yogyakarta)

Dan daun pun akhirnya gugur, luluh jatuh ke jantung tanah. Seorang lelaki tua tak sengaja melindasnya, sebelum kemudian ia menjauh, menjauh, dan semakin menjauh. Sepasang roda kehidupan mengucapkan selamat tinggal pada mataku. Lelaki tua yang hening perlahan menghilang, benderanya berkibar-kibar di kejauhan, tapi bisiknya padaku masih sampai walaupun samar kudengar bahwa aku tak akan pernah mengerti makna dari tulisan : “Hati-hati Ulu Bekas?”

 Hati-hati ulu bekas (Ring Road Barat Yogyakarta)

PiS 24 Juli 2011,
Suatu Ketika dalam kehidupanku dan
di Ring Road Barat.

English : Watchout Ulu Bekas

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KATA HATI :

Protected :

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Protected: Apakah Kita Makhluk Tuhan Yang Saling Mengenal?

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I Miss You This Night in Taman Budaya

By PiS in Word of Heart

 I had passed Taman Budaya in several times, because I thought I proud of the big statue so much. The beginning was probably yes, why not, just imagined, it was said that the head of a baby was made by using 20 tons of clay. Any time if I have money I want to make your statue in my house yard, but the house is nothing yet, moreover that is if nobody did not protest or grumble it. If you know, now my friend says I am prefer to make a lose and submit to a fate. Because it is better, as long as it does not disturb my note. Moreover, I learn a little more patient from Ajahn Brahm, don’t I. So if anybody dislike, be patient you are for shake of yours.

I think again, finally I make a decision. It is not because of the statue so I often pass it in front this building. But it is more due to I know and feel myself is very strange in the real world at last to face a role of long dream. But fortunately, I still have a little hope for shake of you. And although thousand times I pass this way, of course you perhaps will not be there taking a picture or asking questions to the guards about the art things as the pas again.

Like the time your friend husband made a concert of his saxophone here. Whoever his name, I had forgotten. You are very energetic at the moment you told about this around him and showed me his elegant Compact Disc. I thought you forgot, I could play it, but my guitar always be tinkled for you every morning or night, did it? Did you tell about it to his wife?

You really didn’t send your shadow here. Maybe the time you had just for it was over already for your sister. Yeah, he phoned me several times and told me about it, but was it necessary to me to be jealous to him for what he got from you was not accepted by me till this time. Did you hate me so much like this?

Your silhouette was not here. Don’t you like the world of art and culture again already? I remembered at past early you always had enthusiasm for shake to watch the things like that. I knew that you did not like, but I always gave you a provocation that in this world nothing was more that heaven except the world of art, culture and literature besides loving you of course. That human sense and sensibility will be felt as accurate as more. The things like this make our heart leave so we know what God want to about a grain of feeling in looking his other creature.

But at last, you always looked for a moment to the things like this, didn’t you? You always be phoned by your friend who was in even organizer in order to come here and there for a show, didn’t you? Was it just because for shake of your child and just because a little child not to be here, so you also reluctant to be sat just to accompany me here with this statue of baby’s head?

 PiS : July 20 2011

 Indonesian : I Miss You This Night in Taman Budaya

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3. Art Jog, Taman Budaya Yogyakarta 2011

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Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya Yogyakarta

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya Yogyakarta

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya Yogyakarta

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya Yogyakarta

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya Yogyakarta

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya Yogyakarta

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya Yogyakarta

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya Yogyakarta

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya Yogyakarta

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya Yogyakarta

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya Yogyakarta

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya Yogyakarta

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya

2. Art Jog, Taman Budaya Yogyakarta 2011

.

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya Yogyakarta

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya Yogyakarta

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya Yogyakarta

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya Yogyakarta

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya Yogyakarta

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya Yogyakarta

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya Yogyakarta

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya Yogyakarta
Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya
Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya Yogyakarta
Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya Yogyakarta

Art Jogja Juli 2011 Taman Budaya

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