In the world of illusion is used the law that It has been a long years you think you has share a communication with a beautiful girl, handsome man, FBI, CIA, BIN, a singer, famous actor/actress, your another girl’s or boy’s friend, or whoever you love too much, till finally you find out that until this time you are really communicated with a short-tiled monkey or somebody you never imagine before.”
My heart was worried, thought, Should I make another person busy by waking him up in the early morning just because I was worried and restless to the things I didn’t understand alone what about, why and what for. It always just so in every single question about how to finish a solution appeared, so my memory to you became dominant, always imagined if you were in my side, you would phone somebody of course who always be so far so good also than somebody I knew or ever be my friend, then like it before, everything would be ended in good, while my work was only to carry the suitcase on.
I thought somebody out there was wrong already to give a point of view that I always spoiled you for this time. In fact, you did with me too much, if not, of course I would not be as nervous as I would just to go to a station even I guessed it was ancient already. 2 o’clock am, nothing was matter with a such time, you had known, even to sleep in an eerie place also I would never be afraid, for I always pride a logic of thinking more than mystic or bad action whatever. But I thought it was not all about, sometime my loneliness gave me a favor to say hello, maybe I needed a friend to talk in the city I would never be understood it. Ok, It maybe like you always said so, It was so infrequent really in my life, but I did it, calling by phone! Not in explicit I said in order that I was picked up. I said only. “Eh, you keep online, don’t you. I will arrive in the station around 2 o’clock am. I am just fine, people says there were a lot of ojeks, bemos, and taxies there,,,”
I thought she understood, so she shouted out, asked me that I was better to be quiet, listen first and just to be obeyed, then decided alone in authoritarian, would be there before I arrived. I thought it was used to be, when we debated in the world of illusion, she started to be strong to me. But this one made me happy cause I felt to be cared really.
I was realized with my words alone that always said, we should think further more. We should be careful about a decision. But about my friend, I was realized now, then it appeared to make me afraid about in my heart. I made my self to be calm, she was only a God’s creature also, wasn’t she? We had known each other for along years in the world of illusion, and I was the first who tried to say hello and change HP number and wanted to meet in the real world and it was just yesterday morning, didn’t we? But waited a moment, she was the one who always also made a criticism to me completely, didn’t she? She was the one who always started a war in argument sharply, didn’t she? She was the one who abused me brutally because I wrote about a Cat Steven with his song “Morning Has Broken.” Whereas I just said that the song had become a bridge between us which stood up in the deepest gap, didn’t she? How about if she really still saved a grudge? And so on…
Oh, It was happened. So I lifted my bag up, got down from the train, looked around and started to miss call anywhere repeatedly, till finally on the right time I showed somebody lifted his phone cell up. Not too far from me. Oh my god, maybe that should not be the man. It shouldn’t be, the body like that was not a body of blogger who understood the problem around SEO and Google Adsense. My heart was beat. I thought I got a cold sweat. It was a head, wasn’t it?
He waved her hand by, started to know, maybe from the icon of my glasses in my blogs, yeah, I thought he was the man, but maybe not, should I tell my feeling about “love and loneliness” with those whose two faces and hand in full of tattoo like that. Oh my god what I had done. My thought was mixed together with cloudy of question and guesses. For the shake of sky, moon, and stars, may it be repeated back where I was still in railway coach and did not phone him?
“Hay, brother!” he shouted out loudly. “You must be the man!”, his voice was rather loud breaking the silence up while turning HP off. My throat was up and down, when said yes. Even not me, the street guards of Senen’s station I thought became nervous, saving the face to hear and look at a voice of the owner. His shake hand was tight. His hair it was, maybe it was rightly if I called it was borrowed from a street singer who did not take a bath for thousand years than the owner of smart blogger. Ih…, it was not a head, but a bunch of hair.
Finally, Everything ran very well with a point according to me. Even he invited me to have some food, at the end I was realized that I had paid it with number of answers on the questions about what really happened in a last year was. Why I was gone and so on. Did I still have a such sense of nationalism, did I make him like enemy, would we meet again, would I look for a wife again, was his writing good, and so forth… just the question it was. Then he paid our daybreak food. He told me also that he did not suppose my face just like this. He said again, my face was very contradiction with my article, and he said it was more suitable if I had a long hair. He drove me up till the edge of the gangway while saying he missed my writing about the nation we love. The nation we love?! For along moment of my lifetime I did not believe that he said so if I did not hear it with my own ear and from his own mouth. Huh…, the world was already turned over I said in my heart.
The moon and sun said hello to the earth in turn. Illusion and reality did so. I Looked back once more, it was still very dark when in cloudy night he went and brought his big body away. In the distance, the buildings in the dark night were full of little light, it looked like the stars in the sky so much in town square that was already stuck in my heart. As used to be, I remembered again, it was full like the days before. In the middle of my longing and loneliness to you, in the one of long-dark distance, you really knew what the high-blinked buildings said to me. Yeah, that was they were said to me.
PiS, Cileduk July 27 2011
NB : I arrived at Senen’s station on the date of 07252011
then this note was made and worked little by little in the center of busy
a wedding party.
In Indonesian :Stasiun Senen, Belajar Menyapa Yang Bukan Di Dunia Maya (2)
Manik2 Buat Maryati 